A Perfectly Rational Drunk

Jean Marais.  Moan.

I've spent most of this weekend swimming in a pool of gin which has been pretty fabulous except when I achieve the kind of drunk where I weep over things like Neil Patrick Harris being gay and Jean Marais dying in 1998 so neither one will ever fall in love with me.

And I was having a hormone essentially all weekend which, on top of the drinking, added up to a lot of watching La Belle et la Bête and eating my weight in chocolate.

If I keep going this way it won't be long before the fire department has to cut me out of my house and load me in a whale sling in the back of some giant truck and hose me down with water on the way to the ocean to free my big fat Willy ass.

Christ.

I don't really know where I'm going with this except going through menopause twenty years before I'm supposed to isn't much of a thrill, though I wouldn't have a ute again for all the coke in Columbia either, so.  I'm basically just epically unsatisfied no matter what.  I'm also unsure of whether the coke/Columbia reference was correct.  I never google that shit though, in case I'm ever erroneously arrested and they seize my laptop.  I always go to the library if I need to ask google how to kill my husband and get away with it.  And I sign in using the name of this bitch who spat gum in my hair in seventh grade.  She's the one who should be arrested.

What was I talking about?

Go home.  Not sexy.

Oh yeah.  Neil Patrick Harris is gay.  I was the last to fucking know that news.  I've known a good six months now at least, but sometimes the sorrow over the whole issue comes creeping back up when I'm in the gin.  I can compete against other women because, hello, I'm an Incomparable.  But I can't fight nature.  Stupid fucking nature.  I don't know why nature couldn't have made that overrated tool Ryan Gosling gay.  He's foul.  If it were up to the two of us to repopulate the Earth after the apocalypse, the human race would snuff right out.  He is exactly zero per cent appealing.

Anyway.  I'm obviously a perfectly rational drunk.  And now that I think about it, Neil Patrick Harris is too skinny anyway.

Hate Mail, Child Rape Apologist Edition

Apparently, a lot of assholes are fine with child rape as long as it's never allowed to interfere with college football.  Between facebook, twitter, and this blog, I've lost about twenty people and received a lot of hate mail because I dared to say maybe child rape is more important than football, even if the coach allowing it to happen is really really good.

I guess I'm the asshole.


Oh, and one bitch really really didn't want to eat my ute.  Psycho. 

Anyway.  Here are the choicest examples.  My commentary is in pink.

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post Because Who Cares about Child Rape When FOOTBALL...
Oh.  You again.  I've missed you. The judgement that pours out of that ugly manicure is sickening.  Who the fuck taught my manicure to out-bitch me? You were there then, and know exactly what happened?  You, who admittedly knows nothing about football, is qualified to decide Yes. I is qualified. what JoePa should have done different? *differently.   

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post Because Who Cares about Child Rape When FOOTBALL...
Your an idiot.  Irony is hard.  The media killed that man.  He's lucky my son isn't one of the poor souls who was raped under his deliberately blind eye.  The media would have had to stand in line.

 Email excerpt re: Your Paterno Post...
I can't follow you anymore.  At least give me a chance to grieve properly before you leave my life forever. You live in a world that is so black and white you immediately stamp out the gray Well, yes.  Especially when "gray" = "I know my guy is raping little boys in the shower, but I'm pretty busy with my football team, so I'm not super worried about it". and I don't have room for that at all.  I'm a huge Penn State fan and you unfairly villainize a good man who did a bad thing.  That one bad thing doesn't erase all the wonderful things he did over the years.  Actually, it sure as hot fuck does, thanks. I hope you never make a mistake, yes a huge one, only to have someone as cruel as yourself condemn your whole life for you without even knowing you.  Allowing children to be harmed in the most base way imaginable is a "mistake" I can guarantee you I'll never make.  Good luck apologizing for a man who gave a serial child molester free reign to commit his crimes though.  Let me know how that works out for you.

Tabbitha1968 has left a new comment on your post Hungry? I'm Selling My Uterus... 
OMG why would anyone want something your body so obviously rejected? I rejected it before it could reject me. Just how I roll. AS IF...losers!! I applaud the passion in your use of "OMG" and double exclamation points, especially regarding a joke you so obviously missed.  But we can still be friends, hmm?  You bring the placenta smoothie, and I'll bring my Clueless VHS.

Because Who Cares About the Innocence of Children when FOOTBALL!

So, people are posthumously dry humping Joe Paterno.

Gag me.

I'm about as far from a football fan as it's possible to be. I think I was 23 before I understood that the little yellow line you see on TV isn't actually painted on the field. But even I'd heard of Joe Paterno. He could coach the fuck out of some college football.

Big fat DON'T CARE on this end.

That is until he enabled the rape of innocent children. It was about the time he actively ignored the most base violation against a tiny human there is that I started to care. And now he's dead and people are vomiting hero worship all over his name while who knows how many victims of his blind eye are still trying to pick up the pieces of their lives.

Child molesters are murderers of the person their victim would and should have been. There is nothing more unforgivable than the violation of a child. There is nothing more vile, nothing more inhumane, nothing more evil, nothing more horrifying.

Enabling a child rapist is just as bad as being a child rapist.

So I don't care how many football games he won. I don't care what his accomplishments were. I don't care that leaving the job he loved so dearly (so dearly he sacrificed many mamas' babies for it) very likely hastened his death. Instead I choose to weep for the children whose lives were forever changed because Joe Paterno's football team was more important than their right to be innocent and safe.

********************

Doubtless some will be offended by my thoughts on Paterno. I'm offended by child rape. I guess we all have issues.

Unfinished Business

Click

Margaret Sanger Would Be So Proud

Your child doesn't have the right to live a long life. She's not normal. She's retarded. Her quality of life is, well, poor. It's not worth our time, effort, or resources to save her life. It doesn't matter what you feel or say, your child isn't like other children. Her brain is damaged. She has cognitive delays. Her face looks different. Therefore we will let her die. It'll be better for everyone.

Those weren't the exact words, I'm sure. Perhaps they were more tactful than that, if there's a tactful way to inform a mother that her "retarded" baby is not deemed worthy of a life saving kidney transplant, not even from a designated donor within her own family.

This didn't happen fifty years ago or thirty years ago or twenty years ago; this isn't some horrible concept for a novel, though all of that sounds more believable than the fact that this is happening now.

Doctors at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia are refusing to give two year old Amelia the life saving kidney transplant she needs, even though she will not be placed on the transplant list and the donor will be a volunteer member of her own family, simply because she is, in the doctor's words, "mentally retarded".  She has a poor quality of life, he says.  The drugs she'll need after the transplant can cause seizures, he says.  They have to get the dosage just perfect, he says.  Other children, "normal children" survive transplants and manage the anti-rejection drugs, but the retarded ones aren't worth the effort, he implies.

As a mother of children who've had significant health issues since birth, I am horrified.  Horrified is not a big enough word for the rage this inspires deep within me like a churning, fiery thing.  But you don't have to be a parent of special needs children or even a parent at all to be outraged at this incredible injustice.

It is so inconceivable that such inhumane treatment of members of our society who have special needs still exists in this day and age.  I'm shocked, seriously shocked, that such evil is allowed to run rampant through the halls of our hospitals.  I absolutely believe that denying any child life saving medical treatment is evil.

I know that I, and any mother worth her salt, would pluck out my own kidney and place it in my child myself if such a thing were possible and I know that Amelia's parents are not going to give up.  We can help.  We can spread the word on Facebook and Twitter using the hashtag #TeamAmeila.  We can sign this petition calling for CHOP to perform this life saving surgery.  We can come together as a community and not allow this kind of evil to triumph.

There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest.
-Elie Wiesel